


Searching for Simon D

by UntilWeBleed



Category: AOMG, Big Bang - Fandom, Block B, Winner (Band), illionaire
Genre: This is a clusterfuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 07:05:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10680207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UntilWeBleed/pseuds/UntilWeBleed
Summary: ugh





	Searching for Simon D

It was a cloudy day in Seoul.

Zico was busy trying to find a good angle for his new pretentious snapchat update when he heard a loud knock on his door.

Clad in only boxers and his gucci bunny slippers, he padded out into the hallway and opened the door.

Suddenly, a mass of tattoos and bronze muscle pounded into him, and embraced him.

"Woah, Bummie, slow down." Zico said, steadying the other male.

"Zico, it's a disaster!" Jay squeeled in his girly voice, which only ever came out when he was panicking.

"Come sit down with me and tell me what happened, ok?" 

Zico lead the other man into his pretentious designer living room, which was full of useless stuff. 

Jay sat down and huffed in slight annoyance at Zico's grabby hands. Normally, when Jay barged in like this, it was for a hasty booty call, so pardon Zico for assuming. 

"Zico no!" The girly squeel was high enough to make his ears ring. He kept his hands to himself and resigned himself to listening. 

"Something terrible has happened Zico. Simon D is missing!" This was enough to make Zico pause.

"When did you last see him?" He asked.

"I'm not his fucking mom, Zico." Jay was annoyed. It was obvious Zico didnt see the gravity of the situation.

"Baby, you have to help me find him. He's my co-CEO, I cant run AOMG without him. He's been missing for days!"

"Ok, ok, baby, let's go. Maybe some of the guys can help us." Zico began thinking through all his no homo bros, and who would be able to keep the situation hush-hush for the time being. 

"Imma call Ji Chang Wook." Zico said confidently.

"Baby no, he doesnt even like you! Call TaeJoon, he isn't even that famous." 

"Babe, you know how I feel about him killing Chanyeol in Missing 9. I'll just call Mino." Zico wipped out his phone and started dialling the number, already having memorized it after years of no homo friendship.

"Oh good, he can rap away our problems." Jay said sarcastically. He'd been lowkey pissed at Mino ever since he chose Zico during Show Me The Money 4. 

"Oh my god, babe, stop it with the salt." Zico slapped his lover on his heavily tattoed shoulder. He was annoyed over the issue that had surfaced. If he was being honest, he’d been planning on calling Dean in the hoped of getting a totally no homo romantic dinner. 

He wasn’t mad about Jay showing up per say, but ever since the other male had told him he regularily banged other people, he’d gotten kinda salty.

«Come on babe, let’s og to the AOMG headquarters. Mino can meet us there.» Jay was stressing again, both annoyed and distraught over his fellow CEO’s dissapearance. 

 

It took them several hours to get to the headquarters, because a certain someone (zico) insisted on taking selfies with every single one of his fans at the subway. Jay was fucking pissed and just wanted a nice soothing bubble bath with some lavender oils and a good face mask. Maybe some destressing b-boying. 

When they arrived, it was obvious they were too late. The office was in chaos. 

Gray was running around screaming, his soothing voice making you confused as to whether or not it was in panic. Cha Cha Malone was desperately begging into the phone in English, but nobody knew who he was talking to. Loco was sitting silently in a corner next to DJ Pumpkin, his face blank but his eyes going wild, trying to follow all the commotion in the room. 

Ugly Duck was coming towards them in full speed, his ugly goatee swaying softly.  
“Guys!” Jay squealed. His girly voice was back in full force, and it was enough to silence the entire office. “Hey.” Loco offered weakly. “Hey Loco baby.” Jay replied.  
Zico frowned, obviously put off by the pet name.

“Ssam D is missing yo!” Cha Cha Malone was finally done on the phone, and decided to take part in the conversation. 

“Yes, I am aware you dickwad.” Jay said, girly voice still present. Suddenly, they heard the door bang behind them.

“Eyo, one two three, amugeotdo bogi silheosseul ttae! Fear man, eyo wassup.” Slowly, Jay and Zico turned around, only to see douchebag Mino walking towards them, his dumb friendship perm that he has with P.O swaying in the breeze. He swagger walked towards the pair, giving them both a bro shake with a sleazy grin.

“God, your hair looks like drenched spinach.” Jay said, spite evident in his voice.  
“Hey man, just cuz Lil Boi sucked don’t mean you gotta be a lil bitch.”  
Jay was fuming, his easy breezy beautiful hair getting wrecked by his hand constantly going through it. 

“All right guys, we have to focus. Simon D is missing, and we ain’t got a clue where he is.” Zico took the word, obviously annoyed at his friends’ bickering.

“We need more help with this. We have to spread out over the city and look for him. Every karaoke bar needs to be checked.” Gray was the one who knew Simon D best after all, they were lovers, no homo. 

“I’ll call Crush and Dean.” Jay said, exiting the office to make the calls in private.  
“I’ll get Block B over here.” Zico said, doing the same and going to one of the soundproof studios.  
“Imma get Winner here yo.” Mino said, choosing not to exit the office and instead making the calls loudly right next to a frazzled Loco, who was sitting on the ground, clutching his knees in a fetal position. 

“I’ll call Beenzino.” Cha Cha Malone said. “And maybe Zion T, Dok2, The Quiett and also G-Dragon.” 

“You know all them peeps?” DJ Pumpkin asked.

“Yeah.” Malone answered, without giving an explanation. 

Slowly, Jay and Zico came back after having made their calls, both looking pleased and their clothes slightly rumpled. Weird. 

It only took about an hour before the AOMG office was stuffed full of no homo Koreans, all gathered with one purpose. 

“He cant have gone far.” Crush said, exasperated.

“Oh fuck, did anyone call Kush?” Jay asked.

Everyone heaved a sigh. Kush knew Simon pretty well, after their days together during SMTM 5. After another phone call and 25 boring minutes, Kush came into the office, big smile plastered on his dumb face. 

“Now that we’re finally all here, let’s go over the basics.”

“Ah yeah, I love basick!”

“SHUT up Mino, fucking god.” Jay was losing his shit. 

“Simon D has been missing for just about three days now. I can’t reach him on his phone and his manager is in the intensive care after he skateboarded too hard. His replacement hasn’t been found yet, and we have no way of knowing what Simon is supposed to be doing. Or where he is.”

Jay looked around the room, seeing each and every face fall with the gravity of the situation. Except Mino’s, he was still smiling. That cunt.

“So now, let’s all spread out over the city and look for him. My guess is that he’s holed up in some karaoke bar with a bottle of soju and a german blonde.”

“Ey, you better watch your mouth gay boy, no homo!” Beenzino yelled, totally getting that reference towards his girlfriend. 

“I named my flowers after you!” Seunghoon screamed, really excited over seeing his idol in the flesh.

Seungyoon slapped his face as punishment for embarrassing the group. 

Suddenly a bang sounded, followed by low, gruff mumbling. 

It could be heard faintly, an echo through the AOMG building.

“…..simon….simon dominic……simon d-o-m….i-n-i-c-oh-oh…….”

“Is that?” Zico questioned, confusion etched in his face.

Slowly, everyone turned towards the door of the office The silence was palpable. All that could be heard was slight footsteps, and the continuing mumbling.

Suddenly, the door opened, showing none other than Simon D himself. 

“Hey guysss.” He said lazily, waving his rapper hand. 

Shocked faces stared back at him. 

“Where the fuck have you been sleazeface?!” Jay sqealed, yet again with his girly voice. 

Confused, Simon stared back.

“I been at Beenzino’s place. His girl invited me over to stay while he was abroad.”

Obviously, Simon hadn’t seen Beenzino in the thick crowd of rappers. A roar suddenly sounded, and Beenzino came storming out, knocking down Winner and half of Block B in the process. Park Kyung stumbled to the ground, P.O flew face first into Mino’s hair, and Jinwoo landed with his hand on Cha Cha Malone’s dick. It was chaos.

Beenzino flew at Simon, knocking them both to the ground, before he started pounding his face with his fists of fury.

“That’s my girl Simon!”

“She already fucked Jay!”

“Don’t drag me into this! I’m gay now. No homo!”

After much trouble, Jay and Zico managed to pull them apart, both their faces battered and bruised.  
Another bang sounded, meaning the door had flown into the wall for the nth time that day.

G-Dragon stood there, obviously late and clad in his disgusting fashion. 

“Daddy!” Mino shouted.

“Son.” G-Dragon confirmed. 

They embraced lovingly, yet manly, cause they were bros and no homo. They put eachothers hands in eachothers butt pants pockets and walked away into one of the sound studios to talk. Bobby, who was also there, looked at them with a jealous gaze He wanted to bang Mino too. No homo.

Suddenly, Jay spoke up, his girly voice barely present. “The moral here is that Beenzino’s girl is a slut, ok.”

“FUCK YOU JAEBUM” Beenzino roared, attacking the slightly feminine korean american rapper and going straight for a black belt choke hold. 

The enire room moaned, in a non sexual way. Whilst Beenzino and Jay fought things out, Jay losing obviously, the rest decided to order some pizza. 

After the fight was over, only a few bruises and bite marks to show for it, Simon finally spoke up again.

"So you aint mad i fucked ur gal?" 

Not noticing the quietness of the room, he kept going, undeterred.

"Cause she was all over me man, wanted me to do her like her boyfriend couldnt. Maaan, she even wanted me in her ass." 

"oh god" Gray whispered, scared.

Beenzino had transformed. His skin was pale white, his eyes equally pale. His back was portruding.

"HE HAS TRANSFORMED" Dok2 yelled.

Everybody fled.

It was deathmatch time now.

Beenzino vs the guys who fucked his girl.


End file.
